Know that movie, Everyone Says I Love You by Woody Allen? No? Well, it’s a musical (very good and different one, too), and in one scene, Drew Barrymore’s character sings a lovely little song, that’s actually from 1929’s Sunny Side up. Here it goes:
“I’m a dreamer, aren’t we all
Just a dreamer, aren’t we all
In my dreams each night it seems
My sweetheart comes to call”
Well, stranger, these days I’ve been questioning my entire life so much that every song I hear that’s about dreams or being lost or being yourself seems to be, simply, about me. Of course, that’s the whole point with lyrics, they’re supposed to make you identify once in a while. Turns out, there’s a whole lot of songs that are about my problems.
I’m a dreamer that’s for sure. That’s basically all I do now. I get bored all the time, I get lazy, and when I start imagining another life, or when I listen to music, sing, or watch a movie, I’m okay. So I put up with it, with my life being boring. But, you know, at some point, you’re kinda bound to want those dreams to freakin’ come true! And that’s pretty much where I’m at now. I’m in the “I-gotta-get-brave-and-get-my-bottom-off-my-bed” phase. I mean, you have no idea of how much of a bloody miracle it is that I’m actually sticking to this blog thing. Of course, my bottom is still technically on my bed while writing this, but you get the metaphor. But to be honest, I’m still really scared of everything, and of officially taking control of my life, doing what I so desperately want.
And sometimes, I get really sad and freaked out that I’ll never be brave, that I’ll never get out of my boredom. For example, the other day, I was at the movies by myself, bought myself some popcorn and coke, sat in the back and waited for the movie to start. And then suddenly, I thought of Mia Farrow’s character Cecilia in The Purple Rose Of Cairo. Yeah, I’ve been whatching a lot of Woody Allen films lately, that doesn’t help the whole questioning everything about life thing. Anyway, in the movie, Cecilia is at the movie’s by herself with popcorn, in awe of the screen because that’s litterally the ONLY excitement she ever gets in her oh-so-boring life. That thought made me weep like a 9 year-old who lost her favorite Barbie. Seriously, all I could think of then was “I can’t end up like this, I’m only 20 for God’s sake. I still have time to change!”. So now I’m slowly starting to do something about it. It’s so hard. So scary. But hey, I’ll just trust Seneca, who wisely said that it’s not because things are difficult that we dare not venture, it’s because we dare not venture that they are difficult. So let’s dare people!
Anyway, to end this post, here’s the scene with which I identified so much that I cried uncontrollably. It’s the final scene of the movie, so SPOILER ALERT. It’s a sad scene, but in my opinion, it shows Woody Allen’s genius in storytelling. Seriously, if you haven’t seen it, please do, that scene has so much more power in context.